A Mustard Seed of Faith

As I was browsing Facebook this morning I came across a posted pic that sent my mind reeling. "I have a mustard seed and I am not afraid to use it". How many times have you been in that situation? Your situation is huge...your faith is dwindling? I personally have been there more times than I care to admit.

Matthew 17:20 New Living Translation (NLT) ²⁰ “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.^[a]”

One of the most vivid in my mind occurred a couple years ago when the reality that we were going to lose our home became...well very painfully real! This is the home that we had lived in for 13 years, raised our girls in, had birthday parties in, I had run my business from, we had overcome many trials in, God had given me a ministry vision for...you get the idea. This is a home we had really lived life in for a major portion of our marriage. We had many victories and happy times in this house. We had overcome many trials in this house and we had numerous beautiful memories made in this house.

I was hurting, angry, and my faith was "numbing, fading". I had more questions than I had answers. Being my type A self, I hated life being so out of my control! I was sick, physically incapable of doing anything to prevent the situation and I hated it. Not only that, but I felt very alone. I did not feel allowed to be real with my feelings and emotions because I did not anyone to think I was not dealing with the situation in a way that was Christian and glorified God.

I forced myself to get out of my house on a Friday night to attend a Women's Ministry event at my church because I knew that I would set home and cry otherwise. As I was driving there that night I was listening to the Superchick's song "Beauty From Pain" over and over trying to convince myself the words in the song were true. I started yelling out my van window at God (yes, I said yelling!). "Really Lord, will there be hope? Will there be beauty from this, because I sure can't see it? All I see and feel are pain!"

I was going around a curve and looked out my driver's window to see the most beautiful section of rainbow in the sky! There was no reason to have a rainbow in the sky... God had put it there just for me! (Really He loves us that much to put small sections of rainbow in the sky just for us, just when we need them.) This of course made me cry harder but laugh and smile at the same time!  He had taken the only mustard seed of faith I had at that moment and used it to tell me He had everything under control and my family would be ok, even after this huge earthly transition and loss. I went on to the event that night and had a wonderful time with my sisters in Christ that I desperately need to have.

Beauty from pain? Yes, there has been. My family did move into another home that He provided. We survived the trial. We made new memories in a different home (and then in another better, bigger home). Notice I said "home" not house. A house is made of the wood, brick & mortar. A home is made up of the people who live in it. I grew stronger in my faith. I knew God had never left me. I knew that God had things in control when I felt like everything was out of control. And I pray I modeled these things for my daughter's well enough that they grew through the trial as well.

A mustard seed of faith? I pray that I have more than a mustard seed's worth most days. I know, however, that when or if I am down to that mustard seed again, that He will take it... and use it... and grow it beyond what my human imagination can comprehend. God is always faithful! If we give Him our mustard seed, He can make gallons of faith!

Beauty From Pain by Superchick      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-GPbYcTDbQ